When did you allow your grade schooler to stay home by themselves?

Celticlassie · #1 24-06-2007, 02:46

I have a 9 yr old daughter in 3rd grade and I've recently allowed her to start "practicing" staying home by herself, only for about 10 minutes at a time while I go down the street to a neighbor's. Safety and rules were discussed MANY times and she always has the ability to reach me w/my cell phone. I've put this in a framework that I think she's responsible and trustworth - which she loves to hear - and that if rules are followed then after a while we can eventually "up" the time.A few of my friends have agreed with me, a few have thought I'm starting too young. I think it's important to boost our kid's self esteem and help them achieve independence and I'm just curious at how others have handled this.

jva1999 · #2 24-06-2007, 03:19

Personally I would wait until they are in 6th grade or junior high.

nanny · #3 24-06-2007, 03:44

No, too young.Started at 12 for half hour or so. Fine to want to boost their independence, but you sure won't feel that way when something horrid happens. Wait.

Ryan's mom · #4 24-06-2007, 03:45

It's ok as long as you are only a few houses away, but legally a child cannot be left home alone (In most states) until they are 12.

Linda D · #5 24-06-2007, 04:56

Your friends are correct - she is TOO young to be home by herself! If you need to visit a neighbor - take her with you.Don't push her into being an adult at such a young age.Teaching a child responsibility is great but you need to be the responsible adult and do your job - and that NEVER ends!She should not be left alone until she's 18, has a job and moves out on her own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roger N · #6 24-06-2007, 05:51

I don't think age is as much of a concern as the maturity and communication ability of the child.If they can behave properly and not climb on the roof of the house or anything and they are aware of how to call any emergency services if needed, then it may be ok.

mediahoney · #7 24-06-2007, 05:57

I was a latch key kid. At 9 I was allowed to stay alone for no more than an hour. Any longer, Mom would have me stay with a neighbor.

krissy · #8 24-06-2007, 07:07

7th grade or joinor high

Dana H · #9 24-06-2007, 07:42

In the state where I live a 10 year old can be left alone for one hour as long as there are no other children present. However, with her level of maturity, I would not trust my daughter at home by herself for more than a few minutes. Her father on the other hand had started leaving her alone for one to two hours before and after school when she was 9 years old. She is 12 in 5 days. I'm still not comfortable leaving her home alone. It does depend a great deal on responsibility and maturity of the child. And a full complete understanding of safety and rules helps too.

thersa33 · #10 24-06-2007, 07:50

I have 2 daughters, aged 10 and 11 who just started this year walking home and are by themselves for about 2 hours every day. I don't think this would be the case if there were only one of them though. If I only had 1 child, I don't think I would allow them to stay alone until they were at least 12.

trojan · #11 24-06-2007, 07:57

I'm not sure why everyone is so paranoid about leaving a nine year old home alone, unless your in a bad neighborhood. If they are responsible, follow the rules and know the routine, what is wrong with that. It's not like you leave her there for hours alone, with no means of contacting you and it doesn't push them into being an adult. Kids should be able to handle being alone for a short time, how else are they going to learn to be independent and trustworthy. There was several times when I couldn't get home in time and both my kids were left alone for 20 to 30 min. (when they were 8& 10 yrs old). The house didn't burn down (they were not allowed to use the stove), friends were not allowed, they were not allowed to leave (until I got home) and I would always phone to make sure they got home safely. Nobody was injured and nobody died. They were happy to carry on after school by themselves and were not at all bothered by having to act responsible for a short time. Today they are teens and lead a happy carefree life, if anything, being left alone taught them to be self sufficient and more trustworthy. I had no problems but I'd be careful on who your telling about leaving her home alone. There are a lot of nosy people out there, just waiting to phone social services on you for some reason. I honestly believe these people have nothing better to do but to cause havoc on others ( I think they feed off of it). Good luck in whatever you decide.

Kimm T · #12 24-06-2007, 08:16

It is your child. I would not personally allow a 9 year old do that. Even if you are just down the street. I would wait until 13 and start "practicing" a few weeks before the 13th birthday.

Wadzanai N · #13 24-06-2007, 09:15

my mom let me stay home by myself at da age of 11 or 12now i'm nearly 14

Torrejon · #14 24-06-2007, 09:28

Give her a test...ask an adult, trusted friend of yours (that she doesn't know) to pose as a repairman or something of that sort. If she opens the door, lets him in the house...oops! Call and hang up a few times...did she get spooked? It might sound cruel to set her up like this. But I would rather that than the real thing!