I just found out that my son who just turned 16 last month is going through this drastic change. (It is not puberty that is the issue here!) My son started by throwing his old clothes away (to be honest they were in good condition and not old at all) and forced me to give him money to go on a shopping spree for some of the worst clothes I have ever seen. All this black and dark colored clothes (Skulls and bones and whatnot) accompanied by tight jeans and several checkered pairs of Converses. He also decided to stop playing sports (he was quite a gifted athlete) and wanted to pursue "deeper" stuff such as poetry and literature. He has dyed his wonderful light brown hair a horrid black color and has grown it long and pushed it to one side so that it covers his left eye (I always ask him how can he see like that). I recently walked into the bathroom and noticed blood in the sink and when I asked him what happened he was reluctant to give the answer. What is happening to him?!

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My teenagers refer to those kind of actions as " going 'Goth'" ( or Gothic), ...and from what I have seen, some of these kids just want to be "Goth" for the shock value, but some get into dangerous behaviors like cutting themselves, drugs or seriously pulling away from society.
Both my teenagers also say some Goth kids are "EMU" which supposedly means emotionally upset...I guess I would approach this transfromation as some kind of cry for help, but that would up to you and your family...good luck.

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First of all if my girls threw away all their good clothes they would be without clothes. You saw he forced you to buy new ones......I think the main problem here is you are letting him run things. You are not his friend. You are his parent. He needs structure and rules. You need to set the rules not him. He threw away the clothes you bought him. (First of all I would never throw away any clothes while other need them.)

I would now turn the tables and the very next time he leaves the house gather up all those new clothes and head to the "Goodwill" store. When he gets back inform him what is exceptable in your house. Then tell him if he wants new clothes you will go with him to the "Goodwill" sore and pick out some more that meets what you find exceptable for him to wear. If not he can wash what he has on and wear it every day.

The kid has gone Gothic. I have a sister who's kids were the same way. They are now into Wicca. The oldest just had a baby out of wedlock and the youngest is on anti-depressants.

I also think your son may also be suffering from depression and may be cutting himself to relieve the anger. I suspect he may be loosing weight as well.

I think it is time to seek outside help. He needs to see a Dr. and you both could benefit from family therapy. This is serious. This is an outward sign of an inside problem. Evita

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There is this whole new thing with teenagers called "Emo" it sounds like your son might be involved with that whole scene. They are cutters, they get depressed and express themselves through sad music or like you said poetry, and change their appearance DRASTICALLY. I would get more information about it somewhere and maybe sit down and have a talk with him.

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A change in style is not uncommon for teenagers. I'd humor him on this aspect. Signs you would need to worry about are changes in sleeping behavior, friends, and grades. These can indicate something worse then just a desire to be trendy. Be inquisitive about his new found interest in poetry and literature. Ask him what he likes and ask if you can read something he has written. Discuss it with him without being too critical.

As for the blood in the sink. I would have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him you will tolerate his desire to try something new and even try to share in some of his interests, but it is your responsibility to take care of him and you can't do that well if he won't be honest with you.

PS: Depending on the amount of blood you saw and based on your description of his change in physical appearance, is it possible he pierced something? It is popular these days.

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Wow, let me break this down for you....
First of all he's 16, teenager. Not only do they go through puberty, but identity too... He is just trying to find himself....
Clothes are one way you can define on who you are etc...
The dark clothes, pants, hair, that's the style right now....Don't ask me why? But each generation goes through them.....Like take the 80's for example, big hair, flashy clothes, etc....
As for not playing or being active in sports, it comes along with the style, don't want to do that anymore, because it's not the in thing right now.....
And for the blood on the sink, he is probably trying to do a self pericing....Ouch..........

Suggestion...sit down with your son, explain to him that he does not need to be someone different to be apart of the in crowd.....Sounds like you need to build a relationship with him and respect the choices that he makes and even though your not happy with them...! Let him rise and fall, it will help him grow, just be there for him, but don't clean up his mistakes.....Good Luck and Welcome to teenage stage.....

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you son is most likly just fine. I have one turning 18
but. dont lose your gut feelings. some time it could be something emo. probley he trying to push your buttons,
wants to make a statment all his own. as long as he isint hurt or hurting people. let him say what he feels he must how he needs to. he ll grow to be a strong man. try say ing something like I think Im going to like that look on you. make it postive. stay talking. you sound like you got this just fine. no worrys

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