My parents run a business down in California. I was the one helping my mom the most, but my parents kept heaping demands on me, plus thats not what I wanted to do with my life anyway, so I got overwhelmed and ran off to Washington with a friend of mine. This friend has pretty much sat on his behind for the last nine months, playing games all day. Last week, I went down to my parent's house and helped mom with some things at work because my sister and aunt haven't been showing up and it's just my mom by herself in the office. It was easy to see how upset she was by all this. She asked me to move back and help out (but I wouldn't live with them this time..). When I got back, I told my roommate that I've been thinking of moving back and he told me that if I move down there, he'll leave and never talk to me again but that if I stay, he'll change and help me out. I can't bring myself to believe him, because I had a dad that always said he'd change and never did. Should I go?Don't know why it hurts when it comes to this person who doesn't help me at all .. but I guess I felt kinship with him because we both have a bit of social phobia.. and he was my friend for three years. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and therapist though and am working really hard to change my life and stop being so depressed.. wish he would too but he wont. My mom and I are really close and I don't want her to go into a nervous breakdown...

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Leopards seldom change their spots. Your roommate is like the leopard. He might try for a little while, but not for long. You are his meal ticket and your mother needs your help.

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Friendship is not taking or using others.. it is making an input in their lives that makes then add more value to your friendship. If you friend needs to get up on his butt after 9 months because you threatened to move out, then he is insincere and a loafer.. Move out but don't move in with your parents. You can save money a while giving your friend 2 weeks to add-up or face the reality. Your name isn't - "santa" .. soon your best years would have been spent living for other and the last part will be filled with hatred and depressive tendencies.. please live for yourself first.. think about it if anything was to happened to you.. the world - ur mum/family and friends will go on with their lives.. learn from history pal. now or it will be too late

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he is depressing! go where you can get some support, you know the "support network" that your therapist has talked about, and it is not coming from your so called friend. after all those months if he didn't get up off his a@@, he won't! pack your things, go back, but be sure to get another therapist to continue your work to progress yourself.

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if he gave you an ultimatum, hes not a very good friend is he? meanwhile, your family will always be there for you no matter what you choose.

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