...should tell my son that he was adopted.? My brother and I were adopted and we always knew it. I guess i left some thing out in my original question last week. I adopted my nephew. His birth mom volunteered to sign him over but I had to fight my only brother in court to take away rights etc.. They both had major drug issues and the baby would have ended up in the system. I couldn't let that happen so hubby and i fought in court and eventually adopted him. Thank God he is the light of my life. So the deal is 4 years later my bro is clean ( no drugs 18 months ) and we both have come to terms with everything and he is finally admitting that what happened was for the best. Last week i asked whats the best age to tell him. I know i have to start talking about it to him but what happens when he starts asking questions about it? How much detail or info should I give to him about the circumstances? I dont ever want to lie to him and i want him to know that he is adopted and very loved.Hi fyi I am not the least bit concerned about how my brother feels or what he is comfortable with sharing with MY SON. He chose drugs over his birthchild it is he who has to live with that for the rest of his life. My concern is how much and when to tell my son. I will never tell him that his birth parents chose to shoot up herion instead of raising him.

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My parents started out by telling my brother (my nephew before the adoption) that they went to the "baby store" and he was the cutest one, so they brought him home. It was their way of introducing the idea that they didn't give BIRTH to him, but were still his parents. As he grew and started asking more questions, they started answering more. I think the question that FINALLY got things rolling was, "Mommy, if you picked me out from the store, but my brothers and sisters were from your tummy, does that mean I WASN'T from a tummy?" That's when they started explaining that he WAS from a tummy, but that person wasn't able to care for him the way we could. Etc, etc, etc. I don't know if this is the way other people would do it, but its what worked for us. He's now 12 and is INCREDIBLY aware of everything. He even knows who his birth mother is and talks to her on a regular basis.

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