Why does it hurt us more if someone takes us for granted rather than the case of

small · #1 09-07-2007, 14:55

someone misunderstanding us?

lilykdesign · #2 09-07-2007, 15:05

It's an issue of trust and expectations.A misunderstanding would be unexpected, so no disappointment there.Being taken for granted is a betrayal of trust, and a big let down wen it comes to the expectations of that relationship.Bottom line, there's more emotions involved with being taken for granted, although sometimes both can hurt equally.

sapphire_velvet · #3 09-07-2007, 15:35

Actually, it hurts me more to be misunderstood rather than taken for granted. I may be in the minority in feeling this way but taking things and/or people for granted is natural and normal. We all do it and usually it will take some sort of meltdown to appreciate what we have.To have someone that is close enough to me to take me for granted but also perhaps misunderstand me is far worse simply because they are telling me that they do not know who I am. I allow very few people close access to me and when I do I don't care if they see me as the person I am but it scars me tremendously if they perceive me as someone I am not.Cool question.

Wordsmith · #4 09-07-2007, 15:55

A misunderstanding is generally a single event occurring in the short term, hence a momentary discomfort. It is un-intentional and usually impersonal.Being taken for granted is usually a long-term event occurring continuously in an established relationship. It causes more discomfort because the relationship is a closer one occurring repeatedly over time.

rohit · #5 09-07-2007, 16:35

If someone misunderstands you, it simply means that she/he is trying to understand you, but if someone takes you for granted, it simply means that you are not important in their life. When we care about someone, we do want that they at least ACKNOWLEDGE our presence in their lives. If even that does not happen, then we feel hurt....

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