Should the brides parents be able to control the details of the wedding?

ed h · #1 26-06-2007, 17:16

my bride to be has her dream wedding planned, and her parents willing to pay, but their ideas are different, with the response usually being, well, we are paying for it, so we get the last decision..........its not the issue of cost, my gf wants a simpler wedding, they are picking the colors, flowers,cakes..........ect,ect.........we give our idea, then they tell the people what we want......is this right?

Mary A · #2 26-06-2007, 17:25

No. It is the bride and groom's wedding, not the parents!

Future MRS. · #3 26-06-2007, 17:45

the best way to handle this is to ask the parents to agree on an amount that they are willing to give for the wedding, then they should give it to you and have you handle all the details on that budget. then they won't need to be involved with every detail. this is your day, not theirs!

CooCoo Kachoo · #4 26-06-2007, 17:56

If that is the case, she needs to tell her parents that this is HER wedding, not theirs, and if they are going to be that way about it, you guys will pay for it yourselves. It is not fair for her parents to live vicariously through her. Its her magical day, they are just supposed to share it WITH her, not take over the whole show.

TOUCH · #5 26-06-2007, 18:17

people in control have to spend more soooo ?????

teamlessbear · #6 26-06-2007, 18:25

Your wife-to-be needs to tell her parents, "while is great that you are paying for the wedding", Its my wedding, and its my day, therefore, I will have it my way"They should respect that, and understand.

Betty Boo · #7 26-06-2007, 18:35

that is in the hands of the bride and groom deciding if they need help with the planning and everything else. the grooms fam can help too. only the bride and the groom should have full control of the details and everything about the wedding

johanne · #8 26-06-2007, 18:55

That's one of the biggest problems when parents pay for the wedding. Mom is usually trying to redo her own wedding instead of listening to what her daughter wants. If it was me, I would tell them, I'm glad you're paying for it, but if I can't have it my way since it's my wedding then what's the use.forget about it and I will do it very small but at least it will be the way I want it..good luck

VIVA el TRI · #9 26-06-2007, 19:26

no the husbands parents should have 99.9% of control

Calvin C · #10 26-06-2007, 19:35

i dont think so

wavyfingers · #11 26-06-2007, 19:45

Well if they are paying they should have some say, but in the end the bride should have most of the control. If the couple is paying for the wedding then the bride/groom can do w/e they want.

SAM1981 · #12 26-06-2007, 19:56

It is your wedding. If they continue to try and make your decisions, maybe you should let them know you will not be needing the financial and planning help anymore.

anch49 · #13 26-06-2007, 20:15

If they are paying for it then they have the ultimate say if you want them out of the planning stage then don't have them pay for it.

autumnshadz · #14 26-06-2007, 20:35

No. Just because they are paying for it does NOT give them the right to make the decisions. They already had their wedding, it is your bride to be's time to shine. They are simply using this as a last way to control her before she becomes your wife, and may lead to problems in your marriage. She needs to tell them how it is-while she appreciates their generosity, this is her wedding, she makes the decisions, not them. If they don't like it, you two will have to find a way to finance it on your own (which if it's simple like she wants, you should be able to swing). She has to be strong, otherwise, they'll keep pulling stunts like this.