is my fiance being "cheap" or am i overreacting?mature answers only please?

stacey v · #1 03-07-2007, 22:45

ok here are some examples for my b-day we went "dutch" on diner but on his i paid for both of us.On our up comming honnymoon he wanted to go as cheap as possible(red eye flight/cheap hotel ect) but thinks nothing of spending 2-3k on "toys" for himself which by the way is more than our honnymoon.

BURT · #2 03-07-2007, 23:15

he sounds cheap but if he spends all that on "toy" then hes just selfish

2littleiggies · #3 04-07-2007, 00:27

He needs to get his priorties straight. My husband has lots of toys but never hesitates to pay for dinner or go on a nice vacation. Sit him down and tell him that you want a nice honeymoon, good flights and nice hotel. Next time he takes you to dinner dont bring your purse so he will have to pay. You deserve a man that is willing to pay for you and treat you right.

Ms. X · #4 04-07-2007, 01:13

He IS being cheap and that should send up big red flags. He spends 2 to 3 K on toys for himself, yet wouldn't even bother paying for you on your birthday. And it sounds like he can afford more than red eye and Motel 6 or wherever on your honeymoon! If it were me, that sort of cheapness of how he treats me relative to himself would be a dealbreaker. And from personal experience with 2 guys like this, it will only get worse.

Pink Denial · #5 04-07-2007, 01:21

He is not being cheap, but you aren't overreacting either. The two of you have different spending styles and money priorities. Neither are wrong...they're just different. Please make sure you address these differing spending styles in your premarital counselling, or you'll end up in a whole heap of problems.

mad_mike_j · #6 04-07-2007, 01:37

You paid for your birthday dinner?! Run. Run fast and never look back!

no_frills · #7 04-07-2007, 04:05

He seems selfish, and not generous. If he was cheap to himself you may overlook this flaw. His priorities still center around himself. This may be a maturity issue. Spitting the bill?!!! only time I split a bill with a date was a 1st date where my date threatened to make a scene if I paid for her.

jrsmith9900 · #8 04-07-2007, 06:31

I just recently got married myself and yes he being cheap or better yet greedy!

ByouTfull · #9 04-07-2007, 07:09

It sounds like he is selfish and not ready to be married. Someone who is supposed to LOVE you forever and ever shouldnt only think about what makes them happy but about what makes you both happy. Saving money on a honeymoon I can understand that, but as far as not paying for dinners and only spending large amounts of $ on himself is a HUGE sign of who he is and that he is not ready to be an equal partner in marriage.

Free_Spirit · #10 04-07-2007, 07:18

No your fiance is being selfish. I understand the need to cut corners on some things, but there are other things that you should spare no expense on (if you have it). For your bday he should have made it about you; and for your honeymoon, I understand flying cheap to maybe get a big hotel room, have more activities, etc, but just to be doing it, is selfish and cheap. Maybe you ought to try to treat him the same way he did you on your bday on an important day to him and see how he reacts. If he overreacts, let him know you feel when he does or did it to you, bc showing is believing. Good luck!

ritando · #11 04-07-2007, 07:35

There's not crime in spending less on things, if there's no money for it, or you have plans for the money, but to spend it on things you can do without and only profits one partner, needs looking and talking about.talk to each other about the way you spend money

Rush · #12 04-07-2007, 07:56

He seems stuck on his own needs. It's time to take control of your wants and make your voice be heards. He seems caught up in making your lives together affordable to make sure he can overspend on his needs. I think this issue will be a poblem throughout your marriage - so take a stand and do what needs to be done. He should also be more thoughtful towards you - it doesnt seem that way. He wont change - so you need to take a stand and make sure stuff happens accordingly- it may not be the most romantic way but at least it will be done how you want it

colgirl · #13 04-07-2007, 08:15

I certainly don't think that stingyness is an attractive quality in a man -wouldn't you rather be with a man who paid for your birthday dinner and splashed out a bit on your honeymoon? He's obviously not that hard up if he buys himself expensive treats. So be warned - he isn't ever going to become Mr Generous is he? Unless you want a lifetime of paying for dinners for the both of you then get out while there's still time.