She wouldn't tell me who but I'm pretty sure it was her older brother.....it was back when she was 13, he was in his 20's....she still sees him a lot as they all live in the same house.....when I heard this I was so shocked, why hadn't she done anything about it, apparently no one else knows....she is now 26, but her family is very messed up and she says there is always that untalked about tension between her and her brother......I am completely disgusted!!! How can a girl get raped and be so fearful and not tell anyone, and this ass gets away with this? The last girlfriend before me had casually mentioned that she had also been raped by a stepfather?!?! Right now I am very frustrated.....I am only dating this girl, but she is so weak, emotionally, and I don't know how to handle this.....I am not going to run away from her, she is real sweet and we get along well, but after revealing this to me I don't know what to do.....how do I handle this?I do talk to her and comfort her, but I feel like I should be doing something else to help her......What could I be doing besides being there for her and comforting her to help her?Don't misunderstand me.....I am NOT RUNNING AWAY from her, I want to be there for her, I have never run into this before and I need to know how to deal with it....

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Report to police even this happened long long time ago.If she really don't want to, then take her to any place where she can get far away from that person. Start new life with her.If she still don't want to. Get away from her. Get a new one for yourself since she reluctant to change as seems she is 'happy' to be tortured.

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YOU don't know how to handle this?think about HER!! hiding this for 13 years... just talk to her, comfort her. there's not much you can do- it's all in the past.

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This is an awful experience that your girlfriend has experienced. Its been with her for about 13 years it seems. From personal experience, in my case my dad did that a couple of times to me when I was 9, you tend to cover up and protect that person because you still love them, and in your young mind you cannot separate yourself from them. You also don't want to rock the family boat and cause further grief to anyone else, like your mum and that there would be a major fight/s because of you. I did not speak about this until recently to my husband and I'm 52 years old. Your girlfriend has at least opened up to you, which is great for her own self healing and having your support there obviously means a lot to her. She obviously is showing you the total sum of who she is and the family skeletons, which means she trusts you completely. The only thing she probably hasn't done maybe is counselling. That I feel is very important for her own self worth and it may hopefully lead to bringing in her brother also at some of the counselling sessions, because ultimately they need to hear each other out, as to why it happened in the first place and to move on with their own lives. Ultimately I wish you both the best for your future, as you say she is a sweet girl, so don't give up because of her past.

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well by now that statue of limitations has run out. depending on how long you have been dateing her, and what your feelings are towards her, I would suggest that if you do care for her , you should support her with your heart and maybe even suggest that she see a therapist. and you should be strong and even tell her you will go to the therapist with her and if you truely care for this young lady, the past is the past, look forward to the future, dont stop caring for her you should be strong so that she can be strong. help her heal, my friend. trust me , with your strenth, she also will gain strenth.

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Randy. I married a woman who's daughter was sexually abused by her older brother from the time she was 8 years old until the disclosure at age 14. She kept it a secret for fear of losing her family and no one believing her. It wasn't until she could trust someone to talk to before she revealed the abuse.It very well may be that your friend is crying out for help in confiding in you. I'm certain she is in a lot of pain inside. This will haunt her until there is closure. I felt like you when my step daughter laid the bomb on me. Now in our case, her mother needed to take drastic action.She reported the abuse to authorities and brother was arrested. He recieved court ordered therapy and a 10 year suspended sentence with 10 years probation. He had no choice but to get the therapy he needed.My step daughter recieved therapy and began to heal. She since confronted her brother and today their relationship has improved greatly with him.The point I'm making is your friend's abuse can't be swept under the rug. Who ever has abused her must face what he has done. If this person doesn't get the proper help, he may go on abusing other vulnerable children.Randy, show your friend this post. Try to urge her to disclose what has happened to her family, therapist or authorities. The key is your friend will never heal without all concerned facing up to what was done.Your friend's brother has also victimized you by hurting her. I wish you luck and your friend. Break the cycle of abuse. It's never too late.

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