I don't understand why my mother hates me...?

Yzaria · #1 13-07-2007, 14:26

Hi Im 18 & recently graduated from HS Please keep in mind that I am not some spoiled brat who thinks just because my mom didnt buy me a laptop that she hates me My mom truely dispises me Im the oldest of 4 children, all whom my ma treats better than me Everything I do just isnt good enough she ignores me around the house and only yells at me for every little thing even for my siblings mistakes She talks badly of me on the phone to her friends & family about how "lazy" I am Yet I have worked full time since I was 16 I always help clean the house & I am the only one who cooks dinner yet she still hates me! I am not a bad kid at all! I never partyed drank or smoke I always went to school Never been suspended or arrested She always trys to fight with me over stupid things Im about to start college & she wants me to "get the f*** out" I have no place to go. Shes my only family! I have to finish college she doesnt seem to get that I love her I wish she would feel the same for me =( help

farhana j · #2 13-07-2007, 14:47

poor girl. maybe u should talk to her. ask her.maybe there's some old history which keep reminding her of it everytime she sees you. talk to someone who is close to her or you. you need to clear things out or else. maybe she is suffering from her premenopause. you never know if you never asked

fazekasamy · #3 13-07-2007, 16:35

Your mom sounds like she is overwhelmed with everything. Tell your mom how you feel. Tell her you need to talk to her and you want her to listen. Wait until your younger siblings are in bed for the night or it is just you and her home. I doubt that she hates you, you are just her scapegoat. Trust me tell her how you feel. I have been in the same boat and now have a better relationship with my mom because I talked to her.

humanity · #4 13-07-2007, 16:45

maybe she just tired and find someone to yell at. obviously it was you. shes not hatin' you...even she is she will still accept you as her child.(hope so)...pray to God so that she will show that love to you...

butterfly_28 · #5 13-07-2007, 17:15

You should ask God, and keep loving and caring for your mother and her kids.Try confronting her about what she's doing

big sis too · #6 13-07-2007, 17:25

I think that your mother does not hate you. I can see what you mean because i sometimes feel that way with my step mom. What I did was sat down with her and talked. Dont say why do you hate me? trust me that will just make her mad. tell her that you dont feel equally loved by her and would like some encouragement on what you do. Tell her you plans for the future. If none of this works then stop trying to make her appriciate you stop cleaning, making dinner, watching siblings, ect. she will relize what a great help you are and tell you that she was sorry and asks if you can help out a bit again. trust me i have expirence.

madevali · #7 13-07-2007, 18:35

Sweetie, I am so sorry that you feel this way. I am a mom myself and would be devastated to learn one of my kids felt that way, or that I have made them feel so unloved and unwanted. You Mom sounds like she has some unresolved resentment somewhere and is taking it out on you. Sadly enough this probably really has nothing to do with you when it comes right down to it. It never really does. My advise to you right now is to take care of you. You stick to your guns and finish your schooling. It is so Important. Maybe check into seeing if you can get student loans and or grants to cover living expenses at school. Try finding a few other students to share expenses of off campus housing. It will be difficult but it can be done. You cannot fix your Mom, but you can take yourself out of a toxic environment and hold your head up and move forward. Do not let someone Else's venom and ignorance take the wind from your sails. Telling your children to "get the f*** out" is not a very mature or motherly reaction to any situation. You can't choose who your family is, but that does not mean you have to accept negativity in your life either. You are young and your future is ahead of you. Take advantage of it, know who you truly are and have faith in yourself.Be strong and you have my most heartfelt wishes for Good Luck and success in all you do!

kaye · #8 13-07-2007, 18:55

This is quiet simple.It's not that your hated,i believe your mother is jealous of you and your accomplishments.It's possible that you have done the things that she wished she had of done or had of done better.Some parents don't really realize what they are doing in situations like this.Iwould try to sit her down and ask her why she feels as she does towards you.And i would express calmly how i felt.And if this doesn't work maybe a counselor would be a good choice for you to go see.Cause you definately need someone to open up to.I am adopted but know my birth mother.don't feel bad she don't care for me either.and i am one of 13.So know your not alone.Your welcome to email me for more insight if you'd like.shaggysmom06@yahoo.

shordy · #9 14-07-2007, 07:57

Hello Yzaria i know the position you're in right now and it was the same with me, you said that you're about to go to collage and she wants you out. My friend don't give up keep praying not only for yourself but for your family especially for your mother. You may have faults but that does not give her the right to push you over like that. My mom has seven children i am the fourth and the only fair colour one and you could imagine what goes on in my house. You have to deal with it smooth not rationally. You are young and some parents out here don't care for their children. Do your best in every thing you do OK,Honey as i said before keep praying for your family and God would deal with her serious it's just the beginning for you. Be good and stand tall.

c z · #10 14-07-2007, 08:05

What a horrible way to feel, I'm so sorry for you. I would say the best thing you can do is contact the college you are going to attend and move onto campus. Most colleges offer housing options as well as medical help and counseling, it may be worthwhile to check into some counseling sessions that will help you deal with this.

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