How to trust again?

new gardener · #1 11-07-2007, 18:05

I have discovered that my husband had a 16-month long 'friendship' with a female 'colleague' in another country. It involved emotional intimacy vie secret emails and texting, an expensive present and lunch on her birthday, neglect of me, but no sex I believe.I have said I want to continue to work on our relationship and be nicer to him (he says he needed someone sympathetic to confide in) but how can I be sure he's not still contacting her?It's so hard to regain trust when you know your husband has lied continually to you over a period of time. How should I behave? angry, forgiving, indifferent, loving, patient ....? Please help - I have no idea.

ubanx5 · #2 12-07-2007, 08:45

Only he can earn your trust again. If you really want this marriage to work out-you need to do what you gotta do. Time heals so much. Evidentally, he's looking else where for what he needs, and that isn't the answer. If you've told him that you want to work on the marriage, and you both are acting on that-and he continues to be in this other relationship, it's still cheating, but you're also cheating on yourself. Y'all can work this out-if both of you want.....

King H · #3 12-07-2007, 09:05

First of all, are you sure it's a female? These Nigerian 411 scam artists have a habit of pretending they are females then asking for money. If so, then it's cheating. He may not have done it yet, but that's only b/c of the lack of opportunity. At this point it might be best for him to break off all contact.

diamondbullet66 · #4 12-07-2007, 09:35

It is over sweety, just face it.

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