I got married in February in the courthouse...the witnesses were two friends of my husband's whom I did not know at the time (but since have become good friends with). We had a small reception afterwards, no honeymoon.

Is it selfish of me to want to do a real wedding? I know we can't afford it; we're tight on money just trying to get a better car. He's in Iraq right now (since October), but he said when he gets back we can have a 'wedding' (renewal of vows) ceremony, but he told me to plan all the details and I am trying to save money for it, but he keeps spending money in ridiculous amounts on things he has absolutely no need for, nor do I, and isn't sticking to the financial plan we had agreed on. I don't think he really meant it when he said we would have a ceremony.

I feel cheated out of a wedding and honeymoon...should I just get over it, or are these feelings reasonable?

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Since you can't afford it, wait for a while. He may be spending money, but he is in a very stressful situation, so try to be understanding. After he's back and things have settled down, maybe you can take a trip and have a nice honeymoon.

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You guys are married, so let it go, what difference does it make anyway. You both should try looking ahead and saving for your future. Not frivolous things and maybe he will stick to it better if you let him know that you don't need a 2nd "Big Deal" wedding. You are his wife and he's in Iraq so get with it and work hard so you guys can start anew when he gets home. You are his wife now, right ? Good Luck

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I do not think you're being selfish at all for wanting a real wedding with your friends and family. However, I think that since your husband is in Iraq right now, the thing to focus on is his safe return home. If he wants to spend money on crap and it will make him feel better about his situation, I say let him. Then worry about the wedding later.

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Maybe you should try to work out some middle ground, you get a wedding for x amount of dollars, and he can spend x dollars on whatever. The thing about having a good marriage is for both people to be able to work out issues, NOT stuff them somewhere.

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