It is early and we need to start the day off right. Can you give us a good laugh that is clean? I know, John fell in the mud puddle-what kind of a joke is that?

__________________
Yahoo! Answers

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.""No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?""It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded."I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?""I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."He said, "Do you have a real grudge?""No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.""Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?""Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.""Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?""Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?""Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"

__________________
Yahoo! Answers

y'd the chicken cross the road?cuz he's a fat as* and he needed excercise.i know that ****ed but, i thought of that when i was like 7 and never forgot it since then.okay, but, if you really want to laugh at some crazy random stuff then go on youtube and look up "stick figures on crack 3" it's awesome

__________________
Yahoo! Answers

A kid is walking down the street carrying a bottle of turpentine and he meets up with a preacher that is carrying a bottle of holy water.The preacher asks the little boy what he is carrying and the boy replies, "Im carrying the strongest liquid in the world…turpentine."The preacher says, "Well, Im sorry to disagree with you, but what I have in this jar is the strongest liquid in the world."The boy asks, "Oh yeah? What is it?"The preacher replies, "This is a bottle of holy water."The boy smirks, "Pfft…holy water, what can THAT do?"The preacher explains, "Well, I can take a drop of this, put it on a pregnant woman's stomach and she will pass a healthy baby."The kid laughs, "HA, that’s nothing…I can take a drop of this, put it on a cat's butt, and it will pass a motorcycle!"

__________________
Yahoo! Answers

LOL nice windbreaker and here is one for yamaybe not too clean Sunday School Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

__________________
Yahoo! Answers

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!" Ed and Fred were flying along when the two idiots crash-landed on a desert island. "What should we do?", said Ed. "Hmmm, let's think.", replied Fred. Ed shook his head, "No, let's do something you can do too!" Ring Ring... Hello, who is it? Is your phone number 13498732? No. So, why do you pick up the phone?for more go to: http://jokes.federal.ro/jokes/idiots--1.htm

__________________
Yahoo! Answers