She has no more a legal right to see them or spend time with them than you do and she is not allowed to just dictate terms without a judges order. You need to take the initiative in this situation. Make sure that you have a suitable home for them when they are with you and that you can provide for all their basic needs. Then you need to get your lawyer to a judge to make a ruling that you can see you children 50% of the time and file a grevience againt your wife for with holding the children from you. This will get you on record before she pulls any kind of a stunt to make you look like a bad dad and when you go to court for the divorce, it will work in your favor of having a previous judgement against her when it comes to the child custody. I fully understand your not wanting to upset them, but you need to take the control away from her, because she will end up with full custody and make all the rules if you do not work to head her off at the pass. Right now, she is probably making a case against you to say that you never spend any time with the kids and you are not really a part of their life. Let her keep it up and she will have pretty good evidence to show just that. Then she will get full custody, the house and mega child support that you will have a hard time paying.

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Yahoo!