For years now my father has always put my older brother firstNo matter what my bro does my father shows love for him.My brother has been on drugs and lived in the family home whilst using them and my father didn’t do anything about it.My brother has smashed and blown his cars engine up and my father pays out for it to get fixed.When my brother was 12 my father bought him a computer worth $800And a professional skateboard which was worth over $700I on the other hand I never got anything; my dad doesn’t show any affection towards me.My father isn’t really a father because he lives another life and its been that way for a long time…I’m nearly 30 and my dad still treats my older brother the same as he did when he was a kid…I on the other hand am a quiet sensitive kind of guy…When I was little I was sick a lot with asthma and spent a lot of my days in hospitalI remember when I got home from hospital my bro would have all these new clothes toys etc and I had the same old things… I remember once day I when I was about 10yrs old I went to Toy world and saw this plastic lawn mower, you know the ones that have plastic grass inside that all fly’s up when you push it…..Well back then it I thought it was pretty cool.... I wanted it so bad, that when I got back home I asked my dad if he could buy it for me. I remember he said that on Christmas day it would be under the tree…Well when Christmas came I didn’t see it …my brother on the other hand got a new bike…Even to this day when I’m in a toy store and see one of those mowers I run up and grab it …lol…but deep down I remember that sad Christmas day…When I was about 17, I met a girl and thought it would be cool to bring her home, when I did my father yelled at me and told me to get her out of the house… my brother on the other hand had his girlfriend living in the house and my dad accepted it.I don’t get it…. I’m a good fella, I did everything right by him, my brother hasn’t and still to this day… he treats me the sameI’m not as worried about it as I use to be… but when the family gets together I feel like I don’t belong there, my dad gets along with everyone except for me… I’ve tried to get to know him but he just shuts me out…and when I question him about it he yells at me……When ever I feel this way I go off alone to be with Christ, maybe my dad doesn’t see meBut I know Jesus is happy to see me.Who else has a father out there that treats you like you don’t exist?“God bless”

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